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<<2007-08-24 - 4:46 p.m.>>I admit it: I'm a Right-Wing Republican. For those of you who think that that means I don't have a sense of humor, allow me to prove you wrong. I went to this site today that boasted a lot of "You might be a Right-Winger if..." jokes. I started to read through them and found a lot of them to be the normal liberal diarrhea of the mouth. However, some of it was actually really funny. I shall post some of them.
...you publicly condemn the practice in some countries of firing guns into the air to celebrate, but privately think it's kind of a kewl idea.
[please, even liberals think it's kind of 'kewl']
...you're so anal retentive, you were born potty trained!
[only commment I have for this is, hahahahahahahaha]
...You don't see a connection between mental institutions' releasing patients and the fact that Jesus Christ is petting the dog that told you to kill everyone...
[I didn't really find this one funny because I didn't get it. Can anyone explain? This is a cry for help!]
...you believe that Slavery ended?!
[OK, now this is just wrong.]
...you hear George W. Bush's voice and get an erection
[the next one in the list said, "you hear Anne Coulter's voice and get an erection" but I figure most of you aren't polly-chic enough to know who Anne Coulter is]
...you only have sex with the lights off, and your socks on....and then you pray for forgiveness.
[no, sex is ok if it's done in the missionary position, right?]
...You believe that the presidency belongs to "whoever called it"
[remember, I am a right-wing republican, but I did find this one quite humorous]
...You believe the doctrine of Pre-emptive war against a country that may someday threaten us and our interests is a great idea, and also believe that Japan was "treacherous" for attacking pearl harbor
[so it was OK that we were bombed?]
...Your favorite erotic literature is the quarterly treasury interest quotes on long-term t-bills.
[I know people like this!! Of course, I do not know their political affiliation because contrary to popular belief, not all republicans use that as their introduction to new people]
...you are convinced that quiche is part of a French conspiracy to deplete good red-blooded Americans of their 'precious bodily fluids'.
[what exactly is considered a "precious" bodily fluid? I ask because the French can have as much of my piss as they want]
...you listed Harvard as your second choice after Bob Jones University
[ah, Bob Jones, good times]
...you don't realize that Bob Jones University can be called ---- BJU
[don't worry, anyone under 30 knows that]
...you believe Hillary Clinton will really divorce Bill and marry Janet Reno.
[ok, I almost peed my pants when I read that one]